[01:19] Ham: im going to sleep
[01:19] Olly: ditto
[01:19] Olly: with my pussy
[01:19] Olly: on my bed
[01:19] Olly: all warm and furry
[01:21] Ham: indeed
[01:21] Olly: k
[01:21] Ham: i prefer the sphynx kind
[01:21] Ham: nite
[01:21] Olly: lol k night
[01:21] Olly: sphyncta
[01:21] Olly: lol
[01:21] Ham: lmao
[01:21] Olly: FAGGOT!
[01:21] Ham: no, as in harless
[01:22] Olly: lmao
[01:22] *** "Ham" signed off at Mon Feb 28 01:22:04 2005.
-Olly and Ham



The gene pool needs a bit more chlorine.
-Cerys



[23:45] *** "Ham" signed on at Mon Feb 28 23:45:22 2005.
[23:45] Ham: VAGISIL
[23:46] *** "Ham" signed off at Mon Feb 28 23:45:28 2005.
-Ham



[01:22] Ally:Lesbians are not objects you can gape at! They are objects of................art
-Ally



[01:27] îlumos: wait a sec
[01:27] îlumos: say something
[01:28] Ham Sucks Cock: khtf
[01:28] îlumos: lmao
[01:28] îlumos: !!
[01:28] îlumos: omfg lol
[01:28] îlumos: rename feature in trillian
[01:28] îlumos: christ this is great
[01:28] Ham Sucks Cock: ...
[01:28] îlumos: [01:28] Ham Sucks Cock: ...
[01:28] îlumos: eeeehehee
[01:28] îlumos: lol im actually giggling like a little schoolgirl
-Olly and Ham (Sucks cock)



[01:33] Ham: i dont like being made to look like a foot
-Olly and Ham (Shortly after the above)



OLLY IS A FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER ASSHOLE, I AM NOT REALLY THAT STUPID, IT'S ALL LIES!!!!
-Ham



[01:43] Ham: i don thave a desktop
[01:43] Ham: but i have a HUGE PENIS
[01:43]Ollylol k
[01:43] Ham: with 2mb/s DOWNLOAD
[01:43]Ollyi demand pictoral evidence.
[01:43] Ham: the penis or the download speed?
[01:44]Ollyboth
[01:44] Ham: well, i can get the speed picture, but the penis will be hard
[01:44] Ham: OMG
[01:44] Ham: WTF
[01:44] Ham: no
[01:44]Ollylmao
[01:44] Ham: fuck off
[01:44] Ham: im going to cry now
-Olly and Ham (Insomnia induced randomess)



[01:46] Ham: i fucking knew you would put that up there
[01:46]Ollylmao
[01:47] Ham: im going to hack your server and remove all traces of my idiocity
[01:47]Ollylmao
[01:47] Ham: and upload horse porn
[01:47]OllyOMFG
[01:47]Ollylmao
[01:47] Ham: suck on that!
[01:47]Olly!!!
-Olly and Ham (The saga continues)



[16:43] Ham: sexsellent
-Ham



[01:52] Ham: buy fucing hell
-Ham (Typos)



[01:37] Olly: that dead body is worse than evil dead
[01:38] Ham: shes very thin
[01:38] Ham: shes got a fucking cock
[01:38] Olly: she's been dead forever
[01:38] Olly: i missed that
[01:38] Ham: you miss haveing a cock?
[01:39] Olly: lmao
[01:39] Olly: fuck off
-Olly and Ham



[01:38] Thais: men can have sex together my their asses



[14:16] Ham: WTF
[14:16] Ham: why is your font anal narrow?!



[21:33] îlumos: yeah
[21:33] îlumos: yaeh*
[21:33] îlumos: wtf
[21:33] îlumos: yeah*
[21:33] Luke: lmao
[21:33] Luke: you retard
-Me...feeling..confused



[12:18] Ham: \o/ ^o^ |o_ /o\
[12:18] Ham: YMCA
-Ham


[23:37] Becky: hey I wonder if any1 remembers luke oneil
[23:37] Becky: he was the first person 2 handle my denis
[23:38] Becky: guniiiiiiiiiipig
[23:38] îlumos: lmfao
[23:38] îlumos: [23:37] Becky: he was the first person 2 handle my Penis
[23:38] Becky: D
[23:38] Becky: D
[23:38] îlumos: lmfao
[23:38] îlumos: aahahaha
[23:38] Becky: u bastard
-Becky and consonants



[20:46] *** "Ally" signed off at Fri Apr 15 20:46:23 2005.
[20:47] *** "Ally" signed on at Fri Apr 15 20:47:33 2005.
[21:02] *** "Ally" signed off at Fri Apr 15 21:02:58 2005.
[21:05] *** "Ally" signed on at Fri Apr 15 21:05:12 2005.
[21:13] *** "Ally" signed off at Fri Apr 15 21:13:52 2005.
[21:15] *** "Ally" signed on at Fri Apr 15 21:15:19 2005.
[21:23] *** "Ally" signed off at Fri Apr 15 21:23:43 2005.
[21:26] *** "Ally" signed on at Fri Apr 15 21:26:13 2005.
[21:37] *** "Ally" signed off at Fri Apr 15 21:37:15 2005.
-Me, love to AOL



Îlumos: hey, hows it going?
Devan: who are you
îlumos: english guy, you added me from skype
Devan: you live in england right?
-Oh dear...



[20:17] Katie: SORRY BOUT CAPS BTW IM IN A REAL GD MOOD AND ITS THE ONLY WAY I CAN EXPRESS IT
-Katie



[00:05] îlumos: lol death of a porn star
[00:05] Ham: my two favourite things
-Ham



[16:36] Benny: dunno how exploding yourself is supposed to help things tbh
-Benny, on exploding frogs



[00:05] îlumos: you want to look?
[00:05] Ham: well i will be porn to confuse myself and fall alswteep so maybe not reight now
-Ham, ever so slightly drunk



[04:33] Ham: ahh
[04:33] Ham: cumming
[04:33] Ham: cunning*
-Ham...oh god...



[04:33] Luke: the dildo is really powerful actually
-Luke (on the GTA: SA dildo)



[00:05] Ham: titties i need to get a present for my sisters virbrodya
[00:05] ilumos: her fucking what?!
[00:05] Ham: well
[00:05] Ham: that supposed to say birthday
[00:05] ilumos: lmao
[00:05] Ham: it looked more like a combination of a vibrator and yoda



[00:43] Dad: Wot is "La tente de buggery?" wot is the reference? 
[00:43] ilumos: "the tent of buggery" 
[00:44] ílumõs: luke's tent 
[00:44] ílumõs: out of the 7 people in there, 4 hooked up 
[00:45] Dad: Buggery seems a strange thing to start off with... 
[00:45] ílumõs: *laughing my arse off*
[00:45] Dad: Better than the buggery...



[22:38] Phonvillai: *chains herself to a tree*
[22:39] Phonvillai: *naked*
[22:39] Phonvillai: *with a pink feather*
[22:39] Phonvillai: *and strawberry milk*
[22:39] Phonvillai: *and a cuddly toy*



[17:44] Olly: trains are better
[17:44] Olly: I can get away with being a child
[17:45] Josie: lol, really?
[17:45] Josie: no fair
[17:45] Josie: in both senses of the word



[21:21] ílumõs: im not liking the sound of physics unit 4
[21:22] ílumõs: "[...] You will also study quantum phenomena in both open and closed universes"
[21:22] Ham: "ffs, who left the universe open again"



[22:11] ílumõs: *dances*
[22:12] ílumõs: graham loves buuu-uum
[22:12] ílumõs: [note emoticon]
[22:12] Ham: i would be carefull what you say
[22:12] Ham: you woldnt want anything ... unfortunate ... happening
[22:13] ílumõs: *bum against the wall*



[23:47] Olly: *draws argyle line of life*
[23:47] Olly: |------------------------------------------|
[23:47] Marina: *dramatically WIPES it off*
[23:47] Olly: lol
[23:47] Marina: *no-one gasps*
[23:47] Marina: ... oh
[23:48] Olly: lol
[23:48] Olly: he has no idea we all find it so amusing
[23:48] Marina: I know! I'd love to break it to him on his deathbed
[23:48] Olly: lol
[23:49] Olly: that's a little extreme marina dear
[23:49] Olly: we need something far more extreme
[23:49] Olly: like
[23:49] Olly: hmm
[23:49] Marina: painting NO ONE CARES in aids-infected semen all over the front of his house?
[23:49] Olly: lmao
[23:49] Olly: bloody hell
[23:49] Marina: *smug grin*



[02:31] Ham: wow
[02:32] Ham: a moth just played my guitar



[03:06] Ham: may your penis be forever AWOL
[03:06] ílumõs: he quite often is
[03:06] ílumõs: pesky little fella
[03:08] Ham: little indeed
[03:08] ílumõs: oh yeah
[03:08] ílumõs: its not the size of the ship
[03:08] ílumõs: its the motion of the ocean
[03:08] ílumõs: *flexes eyebrows*
[03:09] ílumõs: want me to show you the ropes, me hartie?
[03:09] Ham: arr, ill show ye a fishstick that makes its own tar tar sauce
[03:10] ílumõs: OMG
[03:10] ílumõs: >_<



[03:38] Ham: and usuatlly i end up with a shit rapped around by neck and in my mouth
[03:38] Ham: *shirt
[03:38] Ham: man, shirt
[03:38] ílumõs: LMAO
-Ham, on the subject of sleeping in the nip



[03:38] Becky: what do the kiwis call light bulbs?
[03:38] ílumõs: um
[03:38] ílumõs: i dont know, what *do* kiwis call light bulbs?
[03:38] Becky: ...this wasnt meant to be joke...
[03:38] ílumõs: oh
[03:38] ílumõs: :(
-Becky


[03:38] ílumõs: im bored out of my buttocks
[03:38] Luke: id be worried if your were bored into them
[03:38] ílumõs: i often am
[03:38] ílumõs: but lets not talk about that
[03:38] Luke: lmao


[03:38] ílumõs: what are you taking again?
[03:38] Ham: maths accounting phisics and computing
[03:38] ílumõs: lol
[03:38] ílumõs:  ham im worried
[03:38] ílumõs:  you're taking a subject that you cant spell  
[03:38] Ham: accounting?
[03:39] Ham: ooohh
[03:39] Ham: physics
[03:39] ílumõs: lmao
[03:39] Ham: dont take my typeing obline as a valid assesment on my spelling


[01:29] Ham: you seriont ha vre som ruing eong withy yoiu



[11:29] Ham: OH
[11:29] Ham: well that makes sence



[19:32] Ham: im drinking a litre of custard, out of a tuppaware lunchbox
[19:32] Ham: we ran out of bowls
[19:32] Ham: and i couldnt be bothered to change the mixture for just 1 person, so i used the litre instructions



[21:32] Rach: *starts to giggle manically* ahhh we can't control it, hwahhhhaahahaha
[21:32] Olly: lol
[21:32] Olly: rach, what *are* you on
[21:32] Rach: i don't know, it didn't have a label



[23:11] Ham: i turned to c4, say a man stroking what i assumed to be a rather large penis and turned the tv off



[13:11] Becky: aaaaaah my eggs r goin everywhere! 
[13:11] Bean: lmfao what?!?!?!?!
[13:11] Bean: becky, stop menstruating on everything this instant!
[13:11] Becky: (egg sandwich) 
[13:11] Bean: LOL ohhhhhhh riiiiight
[13:11] Becky: ham said his uterus hurts 
[13:11] Bean: HAHAHAHAHHAHA
[13:11] Bean: no doubt *his* eggs have been going everywhere
[13:11] Becky: *shudder*



[10:34] Dan: how do you want balls kicked at you for while if one of them breaks chris' arm?
[10:34] Dan: + free food?
[10:34] Olly: lol
[10:34] Olly: short of a player i assume
[10:34] Dan: well, short of a back up goalie yes
[10:34] Olly: lmao
[10:34] Dan: you hopefully wont even have to play  
[10:34] Olly: lmao
[10:34] Dan: and theyre fully insured
[10:34] Olly: lmao 
[10:34] Olly: i love your whole way of asking me to play
[10:34] Dan: why ty, i pride myself on my persuasive abilities
[10:34] Olly: lol
[10:34] Dan: but it didnt work this time did it?
[10:34] Olly: no.



[15:34] Ham: im going to go and play Deus Ex because i have no one better to do



I like to wank in the face of danger, then I like to rub the seamen into dangers breasts and say .. 'take that you slut!'
- Patch on...well danger I guess...



[23:08] Bean: now I must prostrate myself and become unconscious for a few hors
[23:08] Bean: HOURS
[23:08] Olly: lol
[23:08] Bean: shit.
[23:09] Olly: those lucky whores



[21:19] Ham: i hope a extremely well endowed monkey comes in in the middle of the night and wreaks havoc upon your bottom



[20:49] Ham: i feel fat
[20:49] Becky: so do i 
[20:49] Ham: i should really stop eating
[20:49] Becky: i need 2 go 2 the gym
[20:49] Becky: ill go tues and wed maybe
[20:49] Ham: i dont, i just need to go for a wank
[20:49] Ham: *walk
[20:49] Ham: oh dear
[20:49] Becky: LMAO
[20:49] Ham: shut up
[20:49] Becky: HAHA



[20:21] Ham: wtf is reformed ham
[20:21] Ham: is it like the pigs been to jail for a bit or something



[19:01] Josie: deary me
[19:01] Bean: dairy you!
[19:01] Bean: *butters you*
[19:01] Bean: ... sorry, that was awful
[19:01] Josie: uhuh
[19:02] Bean: I shouldn't really milk that joke any more ...
[19:02] Josie: LOL
[19:02] Josie: oh dear
[19:03] Josie: clever
[19:04] Bean: it was a bit of a cheesey line  
[19:04] Josie: LOL
[19:04] Josie: stop!
[19:04] Josie: stop with the dairy jokes
[19:04] Bean: you're right, this isn't really the cream of my wit

[...]

[19:07] Olly: lmao
[19:07] Olly: not the most mature of jokes really
[19:07] Bean: lol I'm so ashamed
[19:07] Bean: HAHAHHA
[19:07] Bean: I JUST GOTIT
[19:07] Bean: god I'm such a retard
[19:07] Olly: lmao


Gabriel: What kind of soup?
Olly:    vegetable and lental of some form, ill sample it and tell you
Olly:    mmm, souper
Olly:    carrot and coriander i belive
Gabriel: "souper"?
Gabriel: you should be punished for that



(20:20) Ham: fuck me it worked
(20:20) Olly: nice
(20:20) Olly: although i'll have to decline the aforementioned
(20:21) Ham: thats alright
(20:21) Ham: ill find someone else
(20:21) Olly: lol k
(20:21) Olly: Hello? 1-800-NEWHORE?
(20:22) Ham: fuck you
(20:22) Olly: lol :)
(20:22) Ham: "ahh, yes, can i speak to nina again please"
(20:22) Olly: lmao fuck you 
(20:22) Olly: cunt grabber
(20:23) Olly: "oh, nina's not available? ah. well i'll go with virginia then"
(20:24) Ham: "so whos nina with at the moment then?"
(20:25) Olly: "ah john, damn, he must've pipped me to the post"
(20:26) Ham: ive run out of people



(21:46) Olly: i hope we all stay in contact
(21:47) Olly: a rach is for life, not just for christmas
(21:47) Rach: yep. cant get rid of me that easily, im like HIV
(21:47) Rach: lol, but maybe not so life destroying
(21:49) Olly: lmao



(00:32) Ham:  well, i threw up into my waste paper basket after ashes birthday, and it was made of straw
(00:32) Olly: LMAO
(00:32) Ham:  it acts as a surprisingly good sieve
(00:32) Ham:  i had to clean that up in the morning
(00:32) Ham:  god that was awfull



(10:11) Ham: im not a great one for tact


(22:25) Olly:  sonic 3 music here
(22:25) James: oh yea, sonic's legendary with the fat ginger dude at the end that would try to fuck with sonics jog session
(22:25) James: that fat dude was a prick :P


(18:09) Bean:  how is the olfactory?
(18:10) Olly:  covered in a thin layer of mucus, small hairs and slightly damnp
(18:10) Olly:  and the beanstalk?
(18:10) Bean:  green and bendy with giants on top
(18:11) Bean:  OH GOD
(18:11) Bean:  *hides face*
(18:11) Olly:  lmao
(18:11) Olly:  LMAO
(18:11) Olly:  too perfect
(18:11) Bean:  *hangs head in shame*


(22:09) Olly: stop getting distracted and look for backpacks
(22:09) Bean: but I needs a torch!
(22:09) Olly: you wont have anything to put it in
(22:10) Bean: MY BOTTOM


(22:44) Luke: ayla you on digg?
(22:45) Ayla: digg?
(22:46) Luke: nevermind then  
(22:46) Ayla: you think im on weed?
(22:47) Luke: nah rofl
(22:47) Luke: its a website 
(22:47) Ayla: OH LOL
(22:47) Luke: thats classic